11/23/09 - 11/29/09

Monday 11/23/09 – Took the bus to and from work today. A few people talked loudly the whole way home from work – one was screaming at someone and the other was just happily talking. Made it a bit hard to read my scriptures on the bus, but did make for some interesting eavesdropping. When I got home I was all excited to eat my leftover tacos. But….Jason had cleaned out the fridge and did not know that it was fresh leftovers and he threw them out. So on one hand I give thanks for having a clean fridge, but sad for my lack of dinner. So I got all huffy puffy and left to go get Chipotle. Looking back, I probably should have just bucked up and made something else, but I was being a bit of a baby.

Tuesday 11/24/09 – Jason drove me to and from work today. He hasn't given me a ride for a long time now since I have been biking all summer long. I prefer biking, but it is rainy and cold and I will eventually have to face the facts that I am not biking in the snow. I'm not giving it up that gracefully. Before bed I got out the camera to take some pictures and Lijah has been anti-picture taking for awhile so I took some of Clark. Then I got the idea to start chasing Lijah around with the camera and he actually liked it. I got some cute action shots of him running and laughing. Hopefully I like them as much when I go to edit them. Lijah has been staying dry at night now for about a week. We had bought special nighttime diapers since he was wetting the bed every night. He really does not want to wear them and has stayed dry almost every night since we got them (except the first few nights). So the pack of diapers will just sit there for a few years until Clark uses them - unless Lijah regresses again. We started using chocolate chips as a motivator to go during the day (since he was too lazy to go upstairs, and then peed his pants) and he hasn't had any accidents since then either. Hopefully it was just a temporary thing that we can be done with.

Wednesday 11/25/09 – Last night I was reading a book I got at work as part of my Red Carpet Award goodies. One of the stories in the book talks about a little girl whose father remarried and didn't pay much attention to her. She wondered why her dad did not love her or get to know her, and she was angry at him. I'm not going to write all the detail, but after reading that chapter something hit me that I had not realized before. I'll have to back up a bit here. My mom died when I was 18. She had cancer when I was little, went into remission, and then got the cancer again while I was in High School. Ever since she died I have had a certain amount of anger towards her. I guess I might as well list why: Angry at her for being an alcoholic, angry that she chose my step-dad over me, angry that she chose my sister over me, angry that she didn't love me, angry that she chose to drink herself to the end rather than fight, and angry that she never told me that she loved me. And then I thought about it and there may have been very good reasons why she chose the things that she did, and also there were more times that she did show me that she loved me than times that she did not. It's not that she did not love me.
*Didn't have time to correct of finish my thoughts here – I will revisit this train of thought later…..

Thursday 11/26/09 – Went to Cherie's for Thanksgiving dinner. I made an apple spice cake with caramel sauce and sweet potatoes. My sweet potatoes were a hit with everyone, especially with Cherie. I also brought a Tofurkey and vegetarian gravy for myself. It was all delicious! Clark ate a ton of food, but Lijah didn't eat anything except for cookies. He eats like a bird lately, and mostly junk.

Friday 11/27/09 – Woke up and I felt fine, but a few hours after waking up my bad started to hurt terribly. I ended up laying down for most of the day because I could hardly move. I was talking to Lijah about Dawn's birthday being today and he said he wanted to eat some of her kitty birthday cake with her, and that she was going to get a big dump truck surprise today, and that he wanted to play with the big dump truck with her and all of the kids. I'm sure she was hoping for a dump truck surprise!

Saturday 11/28/09 – My back is still out, but I found that when I am up and walking it tends to get better. So I decided to go shopping at Kohl's and found 2 pairs of pants. I discovered that I now fit into the largest size in the juniors department, and the juniors department still sells flare jeans!

Sunday 11/29/09 – The kids are sick so I went to church today while Jason stayed home. Lijah begged to come to church with me (that's a first!) and said that he would take lots of medicine so that he could go. My back still hurt so I watched a movie – Jason rented Doubt for me to watch. It was good but not great. Lijah slept with me tonight. After he fell asleep I read my scriptures, my patriarchal blessing, and just laid and stared at him for the longest time. He was snoring, and had rosy red cheeks, and was just so adorable.